And of those three times, the only time I responded in-kind to Clue's comments, I was immediately booted. Call that what you want, but it seems to be a pretty cut and dry case of a manager acting as a "friend" first and as a "manager" second. THAT is my complaint.
I think the issue is deeper than presented. One of the factors in friendships forming is values. We see something in another that we can identify with because we think along the same lines. It will not be everything, but it is usually a set of core values that we see reflected in another or others that we can identify with. Everyone does it almost automatically whatever their role in life or on DCS.
So whilst it can manifest itself as apparent favoritism for a person, it is just as likely to be favoritism for one's own set of values, so in that respect its not so cut and dried.
When values, clash discord often results, particularly if we confuse the persons holding a particular set of values with the values themselves and then make it all personal by getting personal. It looks like this happened here.
The skill, whether posting as a manager or member is to recognise that no matter how alien a set of values might be to ourself, the person expressing them has as much right to hold them as we do ours, because they come from a life experience that, so far, differs from ours.
This then presents an opportunity to grow by finding out why those differing values are held. and, even if there is only agreement to disagree, we nevertheless know more about what makes others "other" and so we (and they) become more whole as a result.
I called it a skill, because I think it comes from first of all being aware that its not about people but values, and this realisation frees us from the personal judgements that hinder the explorations that could enhance our view of life.
Finally it is a skill that takes time to develop. This requires patience, lots of it.
Where patience is absent love cannot flourish, so ultimatey clashes of values present an opportunity to practice love.
Paddy