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Re: goodbye dcs
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craftywtch
goodbye dcs
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Jun 4 07 2:52 PM
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And of those three times, the only time I responded in-kind to Clue's comments, I was immediately booted. Call that what you want, but it seems to be a pretty cut and dry case of a manager acting as a "friend" first and as a "manager" second. THAT is my complaint.
OK I wasn't going to respond to this thread again but since I happen to be the manager who booted Justin I guess I'm going to.
I usually signed into chat but for the most part I'm not there, I'm either chatting on the phone in the evenings or yakking with my friends on IM.
I do sign into chat so incase anyone has a problem with either a member or a troll someone can whisper me and alert me there is a problem.
The night in question yes tempers were flaring and ppl were upset not so much as the topic in question (in my opinion) but the fact that no one was willing to give the other the courtesy of accepting their ideas, morals, line crossings, or values.
One side was going with the u should stick by ur friends no matter what, the other side (which included me and clue and a few others) was goign with the premise that eventually u must draw a line in the sand and decide whether u could or could not live with the behavior of ur friends.
I do have lines I'm not willing to cross for me or anyone else and when I do I'm trying really hard to reign them back in (lesson learned from the divorce) my opinions were classified as judgemental on the subject and at one point called bullshit, so I gave up trying to keep chatting and when 2 ppl had a pressing matter in whisper I went with them. As in the discussion going on in chat no one was willing to give an inch.
When I did happen to look into chat I saw someone calling someone a stupid woman and yes bullshits and the judgementals and the shut ur mouths were flying before.
While I do not agree with someone calling each other judgemental, or their opinions bullshit I figured eventually the topic would turn like it always does at chat.
In my opinion and as I understand the DCS rules while attacking someones ideas in chat is disruptive (and yes if anyone wants to point out that that disruptive behavior is also a violation) if we were to boot everyone in chat who ppl complain about being disruptive there would n ever be anyone in chat. Some ppl find the loling disruptive, some ppl find the sex chat offensive, some ppl find talking abour happy events offensive, so there would never be anyone in chat who is not talking about divorce issues.
http://groups.msn.com/DivorceCareSupport/general.msnw?action=get_message&mview=0&ID_Message=194142&LastModified=4675624723757016767
keeping that in mind and the fact that no one had whispered me to tell me there was a problem (and btw same as me Tom was also occupied in whisper with someone who had divorce issues, when I looked into chat what I saw was someone calling someone stupid one of the biggest no no nos no name calling and yes in my opinion there is a big diifference calling someone stupid than attacking someones ideas (neither is right but again in my opinion as a manager one is worse than the other)
So based on what I saw, (the calling someone stupid) and based on the fact that no one had whsipered me to said they had a problem with how chat was going I assumed everyone was handling okay what was being said at chat.
So I booted Justin for 15 mins to cool off and yes when Clue was called stupid, clue also came back with calling Justin a name and yes Clue also left soon after that on her own to cool off.
U may agree or disagree with my decission to boot Justin out of chat for 15 mins thats perfectly fine I acted as a manager thinking at that moment what the best thing for chat would be, but also I want ppl who are complaining about a one sided boot that u also have a responsability in letting the managers know that chat is getting out of hand and u need a manager to act.
We only have 2 hands and 2 pairs of eyes and both Tom and I were busy helping ppl who wanted to talk divorce issues in whisper we are human can't watch everything. I do and will accept that Clue could have called Justin a name when I wasn't looking I do not know and no one alerted me that she had so I went with what I had at the moment. If that makes me wrong so be it I'm not sure I would do anything different given the timing, the whispers, and the chaos.
Now Justin u been screaming at me being unfair to u and how this was just completely unjustified I have given u my reasons and U do get an apology from me if Clue did in fact attack u personally before u called her a stupid woman, not ur ideas u both are guilty of that if she did in fact attack u personally then yes I do apologize for missing it while u should take responsability for not alerting me to the fact that she had.
As for the fact that I do favor my friends at DCS which would be ( Pam, Wee,Tom, heather Leigh Flo, Wolf, Mer, Jude, Fluff, Paddy,Jd, Sonny and yes Clue too) 3 of them are managers two are assistant managers and one is the founder of this site, and the rest yes I do happen to run things by them from time to time to get an objective view of the situation and sometimes just to vent, like Sonny( Bacchus) pointed out in his post he is one of the annointed ones he is objective and he is fair and he wont hesitate to tell me I'm wrong so yes sometime I need a second opinion that does not include managers if that makes me wrong again thats fine with me is not wrong by me.
the charge that I do favor my friends I will not accept, I have always done what I think is best from DCS friendships aside,
So Justin if this explanation satisfies u good to hear if it doesn't what can I say I did thinking at that time it was in the best intrest of the chat and thats what I will always do.
Seems this is a good time to also point out if we the managers follow the rules to a T we get cries of censorship and ppl who want to bail, if we give leeway then we get cries of favoring friends and being unfair we know we are not going to please everyone all the time so we go what we think is best at any given moment, sometimes we do good sometimes we don't it happens we are human we are not God.
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