I never had contentment in my marriage. But I didn't help matters because my life was so different.
I left everything I had behind when I got married.
Now, I am very content. I go home from work, plop on the couch with my dogs. I look around at my big livingroom that I worked very hard for and did it on my own.
I am not screamed at for watching the news, I am not screamed at for holding Bosco, pushed and shoved. It is just a sigh of relief.
I am content because it is my choice how I live. I sat there for many months wondering who I was, what happened to me, what do I want to do?
I have found those answers and you can to. But it takes time. Little by little I felt myself coming back.
Still not a hundred percent but I believe it will come out soon.
I decide what makes me happy and I go for it. I thought, what do I like and did I used to do? I joined all sorts of stuff, the TAPs team Texas Spirits, Campaigned for a Presidential candidate, volunteered, helped friends, took in a lost soul, went to concerts, started a painting, worried about datiting again, so on and so on.
But you know what? I just had chaos. It was like I was just diving into everything. The contentment came when I realized, I don't have to do anything at all. I am the pyscho dachshund Mom and that makes me happy!
You will find where you belong. You may belong where never expected. I believe it will happen for you! It may take some time. You were very young and it is as if you grew up while you were married.
The main thing now, I know it is hard, is to focus on you. You think about yourself first. Take time to get to know yourself. Don't look at it as the fiarytale loss, it is an exciting new adventure!!!!