Okay, Julia, let's look at your options first. Option 1 hardly seems workable to me, unless the church is large enough to have more than one weekend service and indications are that it's not the case. If it were, you'd simply agree to go to different services, and that might solve part of the issue, but certainly not all you discussed in your post.
Another problem with option 1 is that I think it has the potential, if it hasn't already, to put those who know both of you in a bit of an awkward situation. In other words, as I see it, option 1 is unfair to you, unfair to your ex, and unfair to those church members who know both of you.
You also mentioned that you don't feel that the type of service in that church is right for you. If you're not getting fed, why go to the table?
As for option 2, one of the reasons that a lot of people go to church is to help teach their children christian values. To have your ex, who is a hypocrite according to your description, go to church and not go yourself doesn't seem to me to be a good idea.
The only thing I can see wrong with option 3 is that it would require some adjustment on the part of your kids, but most kids adapt fairly well.
As far as meeting single christians, I belong to a huge church, I'm and so that's not an issue for me, but, even people in my church, have met new partners through things such as "Parents Without Partners" and there are some christian online dating services. I also went to a wedding and they'd met in a christian chat room although I'm not sure where that chat room may have been or even if it's still around.
Bosco's Mommy, with all due respect to your mother, while I agree that you go to church to worship God, the church is the people.