I have input from the other side of the coin. I am the step-mom who the kids refer to as mom. Mark was in no way coaxing the girls to call me mom, they asked if they could, and we told them that if they wanted to, that was fine, but they also had to care for their mom's feelings and keep it an in our home thing.

My guess is that while they are there, she is fulfilling that role, and it's a natural thing for them to call her, especially when they miss you. Also, when other kids around are calling her mom, they want to fit in with those kids. It's like a bit of a game they play in their minds, and it's completely innocent. I know this doesn't help you feel better, necessarily, but this is one of those times you have to put on a business face and let it roll off your back.

One thing we all tend to forget in this experience, is that the kids aren't playing games with our emotions. They are trying to find their way in the confusion, and if it makes them feel better to call someone new mom or dad, then we have to let it ride. Even if our exes are coaxing them, they won't do it if they don't want to. Kids know who they are loved by, and it can be more than just their two original parents.

Heather