I was thinking about this and decided I was going to write a post and saw "Its going"s post..I promise this is in no way related.
Over the past few days I have been giving alot of thought to post divorce dating. Several different issues that have happend in my life along with
discussions in chat about "how long should you wait to start dating" and "relationships gone wrong", along with me pondering the fact if
I really want to date have sparked me starting this discussion.
So, first things first. How long should one wait post divorce before they begin to date
. Me personally, I didnt wait long enough. I think
what happens is we have all of this hurt, guilt, lonliness,ect. Then someone comes along that compliments us, or we find that we have common interests ect.
The next thing ya know...your talking on the phone every night, instant messaging good mornings...you find yourself thinking SOME ONE CARES ABOUT ME!!! What
we dont realize is the amount of baggage we are still carrying around from a failed marriage, and bringing that into a new relationship.
So this relationship begins to grow, ya get a little giddy, butterflies in the stomach when you hear that voice on the other end of the phone asking what is
a good time to see you. Then things begin to get more complex, maybe even start to get physical..or talk of taking the relationship to a different level
arrises. We begin to doubt ourselves, remember how long its been since we have shared this type of a relatioship with someone other than our ex spouse.
Inhabitions begin to build. For me, this was the point where every negative thing that my ex ever said to me started playing over and over in my head. Trust
issues rear thier ugly head and Im stuck...is this guy really worth letting my walls down for? I have let my walls down..only to put them back up a little
thicker and stronger.
For me, I have yet to be successful at the "post divorce" relationship. I have dated a few different guys, a couple of them I met through online
dating service, a couple were local guys that I knew or someone set me up with, and yes, I too have had a DCS relationship..or two
One thing I can honestly say is none of them
ended ugly, I still remain friends with the majority of them. And I did learn something about myself in each relationship. After a while...searching for what
I thought I need in a relationship got exausting, and it seemed like with every failed attempt I was losing a peice of my heart.I was afraid that after a
while I would have nothing left to give.
I guess all of that brings me to where I am today, Im two years post divorce, and VERY content with this wonderful relationship I have with me...lol. I have
spent some time with a good friend over the past several months and realized that relationship is what it is....a friendship. I am extremely busy with the
girls, being a full time student, running a business, soccer game, cheerleading practice, homeroom mother and just day to day living. I do think about
dating and wondering if another chance at love is in the cards for, then I get exausted at just the thought...lol. I have decided to give that one to God. I
have prayed and know in my heart that he knows whats best for me and my girls..and I letting him have this one and have no intentions of picking it back up.
If you have made it this far...thanks for letting me ramble.




