I still fall apart when I see the ex. Friday I was in Wal Mart, looked up and there
he was. I just pushed my buggy right passed him as fast I could then went down the tool isle and felt the tears building in my eyes. Seems I push along
thru life, lonely, but make the best of most days and then out of the blue he calls ( I have quit answering when he calls) or I run into him or worse HER and
all the feelings bombard me all over again. It has been 3 years. I have many more good days than bad. I smile and laugh and even have fun from time to
time but I still think about him everyday and look for him everywhere I go. That is weird in its self because I avoid places he might be and time I think he
could possibly be there, yet still when I least expect it I run into him. To top it all off he is getting married in July. To HER, the one he cheated
with. I know what is said about it will never last, but I know him still and it will last because she has money and he is all about that. I shouldnt even
care.
I admit it, I am jealous of her, of them. I am lonely. Being alone is ok it is
just the times when I have no one to talk to or share my day with. People use to tell me there is a difference in being lonely and being alone. I understand
that now. Alone is good at times but the lonliness is awful. I miss having someone put there arms around me. I don't remember the last time someone
hugged me.
Just needed to vent.




